Reality Check

It has, indeed, been a very long time since I have updated this blog.  But before you give up on following our progress, let me explain…

At the end of February Stephen and I got some news that turned our thoughts totally inward onto ourselves.It was information that some expectations about ministry and jobs were going to be delayed for some time.  This information shouldn’t have shaken us the way it did.  Our family has been through some pretty crazy stuff including but not limited to …

Getting pregnant with our first daughter five months into our marriage, then (almost immediately) both losing our jobs at the same time, packing up and moving across the country to pastor a church in Pennsylvania when I was eight months pregnant, that experience being..well.. challenging (understatement of the year), moving across the country again a year later to Huntsville, AL, buying our first home to only a year after that have that home hit by a tornado, and also enduring two miscarriages in a year and a half.

All of these stories could have their very own blog dedicated to them… but… I will surmise to say that through all of these experiences God has shown himself so incredibly and ridiculously faithful that we have NO reason to doubt him.. no matter what comes up in our lives.

But alas, we are sinners… and we doubted. We questioned God’s plan for our lives. Then, as He always does, He gave us a sweet reminder that He is in control. He loves us. He has plans for our life that are so much better than our plans for ourselves. He is wise. When will we ever learn?

That reminder came in the form of a sweet,beautiful blue eyed 2 month old baby girl.  We were 4 weeks into our 10 week class to become foster adoptive parents through Limestone County DHR.  We had actually missed our fourth class because Audrey and I were both sick the week before. The foster family coordinator called at 10 mins till 5pm and  I though we were in trouble…

No. She did ask us if we planned to continue classes. I assured her that were were. Then she said “in that case…”

She showed up 6:30pm with this tiny person who changed our life and direction immediately.

This is a foster placement. We knew that from the start. We have no expectations as far as how long this sweet baby will be with us. But, we do know one thing. We love her “to the moon, stars, and sun and back.” In Audrey’s words

God is teaching me that faith is one step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Grace for this moment and believing that he will be there in the next. God has given me that grace to see that I have no “right” or “claim” even to my own biological daughter. Both of my daughters are His. He loves them so infinitely more than I ever could. I’m not promised one more breath on this earth. God has called me to be a mother to these TWO girls TODAY, right now, in this moment. So that’s what i’m going to be. I’m going to believe Jesus when He said:

“do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
(Matthew 6:34 ESV)

“God is our refuge and strength,a very present help in trouble.Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam,though the mountains tremble at its swelling.”

(Psalm 46:1-3 ESV)

What this tells me is that I have no need to fear tomorrow because today has it own troubles, and that I have no need to fear the troubles of today because God is my refuge and my help. I have been so blessed to see this play out in reality.

So because I have no need to fear and because I have a God who loves me and these other three people who I call my family so completely I can enjoy this moment and this day. I can watch my girls who even now are are smiling and laughing at each other and giving each other kisses. All I hear is giggles and coos. Such a sweet sound. Not a bitter sweet sound. Just a sweet sound not because I have some false hope that all will end up the way I want it to. My hope is that God is faithful to show himself so glorious and in that my complete joy and satisfaction is accomplished. Some of you reading this might be worried about my 3 year old who has taken the job of being a big sister very seriously. I worried at one time about that too. But that worry is long gone. The God who has given me comfort is also the God who gives her comfort.  The God who heals my hurts is the God who will heal hers when they come… and they will come in all their varying forms.  My job is NOT to keep her from pain but to guide her to Jesus when the pain comes.

We didn’t start out thinking that we would foster, but that we only wanted to adopt. That is not what the Lord has planned for us it seems. This sweet baby has brought nothing but joy to our home.  When and if she goes away we will be very sad. We will grieve. We will have a hole in our heart. But…Jesus will hold us in his arms when we weep. He will be there with us, and He will be there with her, wherever she is.

My prayer is that you know that Jesus is with you right now, wherever you are.

Blessings (but not in the way you think),

Kelly

 

Progress

Since the time I wrote my last blog post we had been calling the DHR office multiple times a week to no avail.

I actually had memorized the prompt on the message machine and would mouth it disrespectfully each time I heard it.  I was feeling pretty discourage with each passing week. We even had friends of ours who have worked with DHR in the past contact them for us, and still, no return phone call.  Finally, on December 21st I got a phone call while I was at my friend Traci’s house hanging out and having coffee.  I mention this because I was unprepared for her call. See, all this time I had been waiting for this woman (who, at this point, had become the enemy who stands between me and my child) to call me back so I could tell her how sad I was that the children in the system are in the hands of such incompetent people as her! (this is where you learn that i’m mean, people…)  But that day I was too consumed with my morning spent with my soul sister just soaking her and all of her awesomeness up that I was in too good of a mood to be mad at this woman on the other line. This, my friends, is evidence of this “it just so happens” providential grace that God so so so often shows me! See, I couldn’t be mad at Ms. DHR because God had a plan to use this beggar to show another beggar where to get bread that day. As she told me about the processes and paperwork and I shared with her my experience with kids in the system she asked me a very interesting question.

“Are you guys wanting to adopt because of infertility?”

A loaded question indeed.

“No. Why do you ask?”

“Well, in the past we have had many people start classes and then conceive and drop the classes and their desire to adopt.”

“Let me assure you that this will not be the case with us.”

I was able to share with her that our desire to adopt has nothing to do with fertility or infertility.  Our desire to adopt comes from our gratefulness that we have been adopted by God and he has made us his children. We just want to follow God’s example in caring for the fatherless.

I’m thankful that God didn’t count my sin against me that day. He used this sinner with a mean and spiteful heart to minister to this woman with whom he planned to share the gospel.  At the same time, reminding me of my need of Him and his grace every second, and that he is much much wiser than I!

The greatest thing of all is that this is not the first time that Ms. DHR heard this. Our friends, who just completed the adoption of their foster son before the holidays through our same county, have told her this story before. Not only told her the story, but made good on it when Jessica found out she was pregnant during the process to adopt their son Cody.

Man, I’m so blessed. My heart swells that i’m able to be a part of all of this… God didn’t just save me FROM something… he saved me TO something pretty amazing.

The progress:

Classes start February 28 and end the first week in May. Paperwork is at the DHR office with my name on it to pick up on Monday.

It may not seem like much, but it is something and I am grateful.

God has been good to teach me to have faith in the waiting. Please pray for us that we would perservere in faith as we continue to wait on God’s continued providences.

Thank you all for your prayers!

Kelly

 

In their distress…

“I can’t get that phrase out of my head.” I hear Stephen say at lunch last Sunday.

Adoption, in any shape, form or fashion is wonderful as far as I am concerned. So, when my husband struggled with the idea of adopting through DHR I didn’t make an issue of it. After all, God is sovereign and I KNOW that our children will be brought to us however He sees fit. Besides, I have some pretty real fears about that also considering the fact that we have a three year old.

Adopting through DHR means taking in children that could be taken away once we have already bonded with them. It means taking in children that most likely are not infants (this could change up the “birth order”) of my family… what kind of issues will these kids have??? The risks associated with this option are NUMEROUS to say the least…

Let me give you a bit of history on me…
Because my major was psychology, I was required by my university to do an “internship class.” That meant that i had to choose some kind of “psychology related” internship and have a certain number of documented hours of service there. They had a list… you know… of places that people had chosen in the past that you could choose from…but if you know me very well, you know that I quickly tore that up and threw it in the trash. I’ll rebel against the norm any chance I get and this seemed like such an appropriate time to do that.

After some digging and permission seeking, I found my own kind of internship at a place called Jonathan’s Place (read about them here > http://www.jpkids.org/) At J’s place I was exposed to children that were just entering the foster care system or were not successful in foster homes. Boy… Did I leave there with tears streaming most nights… I had to suck it up many a time while I was there when some of those precious children called me “Mama.” There was one child there that I grew especially fond of. His name was Curtis. Curtis was a “special case.” (as if they were not all special case children…so maybe Curtis was an especially special case Curtis was the victim of severe neglect by his birth mother. I was never able to know all of the details but what I did know is that his mother was never even give the chance to get her act together. Curtis had been taken away immediately. Curtis was three years old. He had some developmental delays, speech problems, anger, disruptive behavior… just to name a few. BUT he was such a cuddly bug He always wanted to come snuggle with me. I would often tell the foster moms and dads who worked there that if I was able I would adopt him. They told me that 3-4 families had considered adopting him and then given him back. Appalled… if you were wondering. I still think about Curtis daily. I wonder if he was ever adopted. I wonder if he has a family who loves him, I still do.

The year before my internship at Jonathan’s Place I did an internship with a church planting organization called World Impact. (read about them here > http://www.worldimpact.org/) I was an intern for the children’s programs. Even as i sit here to try to think of what I could say to explain what I learned that year… there aren’t really enough words. I suppose I will tell you about this one family that I came to know… and love. Tink, Lil’ Nick, Nini, James and Antowan. What beautiful kids they were! I spent as much time with them as i could. I grew to have a pretty good relationship with their Mother as well. I took them to doctors appointments and McDonalds and would often (with no car seats) pick them all up and take them to my house for the night. Although I loved them all… I had a special affection for James. Funny, James was also three years old. James was soft spoken, affectionate and one of the most beautiful children i’ve ever seen. He had a gentleness about him that I couldn’t explain based on his circumstances. One day I went to see them and found that their apartment was empty and they were gone. Just like that. I was devastated. Where did they go? Why? Where they okay? Were they coming back? They did eventually come back… only to leave again in that same manner a short time later. I wonder where those sweet kids are now. I still dream about James and kissing his sweet head and giving him a big hug and telling him even though he doesn’t remember me now that I love him.

The idea of loving children with a trunk full of bags isn’t scary to me. Those kids were so easy for me to love then. Now that I am a mother I can only imagine how much easier it would even be now…

The biggest fear is the loss. What if I loose a child that comes into my home? Well, come to think of it, I have. I have already lost 6. Its the hardest thing ever… but SO WORTH IT!

Because God is so good to us… to redeem every moment of our lives,and to even work on the loving and sensitive heart of my husband to prepare him for the trials ahead… Stephen and I will start our classes soon to become licensed foster/adoptive parents in our county. I feel scared and privileged at the same time…and I trust Jesus. I just really do. I GET to do this… Wow, thank you LORD!

PLEASE pray for us. We covet your prayers.

-Kelly

 

An Adoption Story

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.  And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”  So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

 

Family and Friends,

I have been brought into a family in which I did not originally belong. I am called a son of God; an heir because of Christ’s life, death, resurrection, and glorification.  God cares about adoption. Adoption was his plan for the fullness of time.

I want to invite you to come along with us as we begin our journey. Please pray with us as we navigate through this calling God has placed on our lives.

Love,

The Myshralls